Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
