You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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