so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
