He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
