I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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