tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
