do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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