Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
oh god was she eating orange peels again
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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