I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
