My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
