i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
