i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
