Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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