Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
