God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was confusing and full of hummus
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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