Barsexuality is the new black.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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