marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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