I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize