I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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