Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
