I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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