forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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