No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
