I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize