haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
