I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I need water and some morals
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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