If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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