Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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