So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
