why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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