ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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