After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
