That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
