ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
