Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
