Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
