so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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