Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
