Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
handjob tips. give me some.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
