Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
