omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
