I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
