DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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