please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
