I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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