DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
