im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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