just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
