I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dignity is for republicans.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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