Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
