She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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