It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
